Sean and Alee Go All The Way

In 2023, I was invited to be the officiant of my dear old friends, Sean and Alee’s wedding. It was the invitation of a lifetime and I was honored to be the one to bring their lives together. Sean and I both were tearful in the moment, while Alee was ever the dude who made fun of us for being a “bunch of crybabies.” I share this here today for posterity, misspellings and all.

Below is the Officiant’s speech (or whatever it’s called).

***YOU MAY BE SEATED.*****

Dearly Beloved

We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Sean and Alee!

So many of us have traveled great distances to be here for this joyous celebration. There is nowhere else we would rather be than right here right now, celebrating this NEU family. Pun intended.

Hold for chuckles.

The love in this venue is powerful! Can you feel it? So many friends. family. both old, new and those friendships yet to be discovered.

Of course Friendship is the cornerstone of any great relationship and that’s where today’s journey begins.

Sean and Alee began their life first as friends. They met at College and became roommates. They lived together in a large house, each working towards their futures. Both of them were unaware that their futures were destined to be together.

Sean and Alee would stay friends after college. They would go on to start their individual lives, but they stayed close. They were there for each other through thick and thin, growing slowly towards becoming the best friends they were always meant to be.

Weddings are intended to be quiet affairs, but if we might break decorum real quick. Can we get some noise from those of us who knew long before they did that these two both were meant to be together?

It was so obvious wasn’t it? Obvious to everyone but them! Every story I’d hear, the nicknames or inside jokes from these two said it all… These two were meant for each other.

But isn’t that how the greatest relationships are formed? Time. Growth. Dedication. Love. All those qualities existed long before they found their romance. It was those years of friendship that they built the foundation of this love and their future life.

Sean works in Security and in the days before I met alee, I would joke, “I wonder what it would take to get that Top Secret clearance to Sean’s heart?”

I stopped joking the moment I met Alee. Immediately, I knew she was the key to his heart.

They are each other’s Yin and Yang. They bring each other a sense of Balance.

Who else experienced the absolute joy when they revealed that they had finally taken that obvious leap into romance?

And it was in those early days of this adventure that Sean and Alee invited my love and I on a double date at the Botanical Gardens.

We watched as these two danced around each other. Still so nervous of the relationship that was blossoming. These two had loved each other for so long, but what did it mean now?

It was in those tender moments in the gardens.. watching as the two of them held hands.. watching them gently explored what this next chapter of their relationship would become… I knew these two would GO ALL THE WAY.

Their love grew to the true place it was always meant to grow.

Today we are here in celebration of what they have discovered since that afternoon in the gardens.

The love in this room is powerful.

Look around the room and You can see the love and joy that these two represent, reflected in each of your faces. Not just our love of Sean and Alee, but the love we have for each other.

With this love in our hearts, we are helping to build the bond that will carry these two forward into their futures. That love is worth more than any of the wrapped boxes we brought with us today. Those are the real gifts that we bring to this couple by being here today in this joyous celebration.

As we continue this ceremony, think of your love of Sean and Alee. Think of your favorite moments you may have of them and hold that love close in your hearts as we welcome these two to their next chapter and adventures unknown.

OFF MIC: Shall we begin? Are you two ready?

Marriage is a supreme sharing, perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure in life.

It is the joyful uniting of two individuals whose care and affection and understanding have flowered into a deep and powerful love.

Those who take its vows have their lives blended together into one, as the waters of two rivers are joined when they come together to form an even greater one.

The bride and groom have prepared their own vows:

—-

Alee: Do you take this man for your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this & day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?

Sean: Do you take this woman for your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?

You may kiss the bride!

Ladies and Gentlemen.. I present to you… Sean And ALEE NEU!!!

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Editor’s Note: This is the raw draft of the interview published by New Noise Magazine. This draft has not been seen by an editor. There will be errors. BoySetsFire have ended their radio silence and returned to unleash upon us While a Nation Sleeps. This is the band’s first release in seven years, although vocalist Nathan Gray is quick to mention that he has been busy with other projects during that downtime such as I AM HEARSAY and THE CASTING OUT. While not playing music, Nathan has formerly worked as an employment consultant for people with disabilities.  At the moment he is an Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) representative on a Coast Guard yard, “watching people work.” It was there on the Coast Guard yard on his lunch break that Nathan stopped to talk about the upcoming record.    In a press release you spoke that “We didn’t want to do this record, we had to do it. Something inside us still ached and we needed to share it with you.” Some writers describe themselves as conduits for the universe at large. So for this record, are you a conduit or does this come from another place within you? I’m not a big fan of hocus pocus. I don’t believe the universe is doing this to me. I believe that my own dysfunction does this to me. I believe that’s what it is for all musicians and artists is their own feeble dysfunctions, which others can see as very cool. [Laughter] I believe that a lot of musicians and artists were pushed by a dark force, to an extent, that is inside us. That’s why we do it. It’s to let out those demons. I feel that most artists and musicians, if they do not do that, they will end up killing themselves or somebody else in the process. That is our psychology couch. I go to music. I go to what we do with BoySetsFire and with my other bands, to get out what I need to get out and be a well adjusted person. Or at least as well adjusted as humanly possible. I think for us it is more desperation that being a conduit.  Listening to the new record, I’ve found that the new album is both angrier and mellower than the older albums. Does it feel that way to you? I do think it is mellow and angry all at once. That is just sort of who we are. We have a maturing process. I find that at the same time that as you mature and get older, you don’t always completely mellow out on some things. You almost get more pissed as you get older. “Really? It’s 2013 and this shit is still going on?!?” [Laughs] It’s bizarre how certain topics and things can be relevant for SO. FUCKING. LONG. You just look around and there is hysteria and stupidity everywhere. At the same time with a lot of things, there is a mellowing out, that I especially feel with our more melodic songs, that’s more of us fitting into our style. That’s what we became in a lot of ways with our more melodic sound. That IS BoySetsFire’s melodic sound. I don’t think we’ll ever refine our heavy style. With every album the heavier songs sound different from every album to album. As with the more melodic songs, seem to follow a certain path. I’m not quite sure why that is. It does seem to be working that way. I guess we have found our way for the more melodic songs and it just comes naturally and our heavy songs come naturally, but in this weird schizophrentic way. They are always different, all the fucking time, and every fucking album.  Does the anger ever go away? It comes and goes, ebbs and flows. It is what it is. If it didn’t, I would be psychotic. [Laughter] If you’re always angry or always happy, there is always something wrong with you. [Laughter] I think that’s why BoySetsFire comes off so  schizophrentic at times. It’s so up and down and up and down and happy and sad and angry and glad. That’s why it comes off that way.  I really enjoyed the Charlie Chaplin quotes from the film The Great Dictator used in the album. In particular the quote: “You must speak.” “I Can’t.” “That is our only hope.” With BoySetsFire you have ultimately become a speaker for the speechless. You’ve spoken that BoySetsFire has saved your life though the voice that it has given you. What attracts you to being that voice? I don’t know if I could even tell you. It’s not natural. I think a lot of times self preservation is a lot more natural than to speak out. At the same time, You have to think that in some ways, speaking out and speaking for others is in a way self serving. It works for some people and it doesn’t work for others. Some people, it gives them a good feeling and makes them feel like they are accomplishing something. That in some way they are preserving their own freedoms by helping others with theirs. I feel like that is where my empathy comes from, to an extent. I do feel empathy for people. It’s a natural thing that comes about, while at the same time there is this knowledge that that empathy comes from a very natural place. It’s not some kind of artistic, fancy cosmic thing. It’s something that some people just have. You have it in you and it’s this driving force, just like self preservation. They are connected. When you fight for other people’s freedoms, when you reach out and touch someone else’s life. Well, in a lot of ways that comes back for you and the society you live in.  How does the gratitude of a listener who has been helped by your music effect you? Of course if effects me positivity. It’s an honor.

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An ode to Alissa Rogers (1982 – 2016) Shreveport / Denver

From Alissa: “sorry you are in that, its retardation not blooming. think about birth and also how much the sun hates us, and how fucking special it is to be able to feel a past. smell it. converse with it. have it. but to have the benefit of a future, its our internal health plan. chew on bits of ice as well, very uplifting and constructive-but socially annoying. i enjoy it during large group meetings, and dealing with the homeless. i miss our high school car rides.” -Alissa Rogers Today would have been my friend Alissa’s 40th birthday. I’m sitting in Hawaii looking at the water and my face is wet as I think about Alissa and my thoughts drift to my sister Brittany, gone now 13 years herself. I think about my friends who recently lost siblings. I think about how I wouldn’t be sitting here in fucking Hawaii had it not been for these folks who helped shape me into the pear shaped individual I am today. Here’s something I wrote when Alissa passed some years back. I miss her and think of her often. This was written in grief, and a first draft was posted. It desperately needs to be edited, but I just can’t stop crying when I read this to make the fixes…. So please forgive all the grammatical errors and such… —– Alissa Rogers was the first woman who let me touch her boobs. She was wearing these fake silicon pads you put into your bra and wanted me to feel them too see if they were real. Years later she told me that was the night she wanted to take my virginity, but I was too dumb to make a move. Alissa Rogers is the reason I am the man I am today. Alissa Rogers passed away today. I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to write about that wild, wonderful and obnoxious woman. I’ve been sitting here in silence for the last 15 minutes trying to find the right words when it dawns on me, had she been here she would have said something wildly inappropriate to break the tension. She would have made me and every one else laugh. She was fierce. She was hilarious. She was my friend. I went to Byrd High school in Shreveport, Louisiana with Alissa and I fucking hated her. She was everything I wasn’t. She was loud, obnoxious and loved attention. Of course I would fall in love with her. It happened in a dream. I had seen her out and about at places like the Karma Cup coffee house or St Vincent Mall, but I didn’t know her. Then she showed up in a dream of mine. More like invaded it. That was more her style. It wasn’t a sexual dream, it was just a dream where this larger than life girl played a part in. Somewhere a switch in my head turned my hatred into adoration. I was shy and awkward. I didn’t know how to approach her or become her friend, but fate intervened as during those late nights loitering at the Karma Cup, my best friend Michael Burnley ended up dating Alissa’s friend Jessica. As Michael and Jessica grew closer, so did Alissa and I. 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